Pulling myself together

2007-12-09T14:56:00.000+08:00

on hiatus

a change of view

2007-05-27T23:10:00.000+08:00

I guess it's official now.

Changes happen all the time. A change of weather. A change of money. A change of clothes. A change of lifestyle. A change of taste. A change of habits. A change of scenery.

But what happens when all that occurs simultaneously?

Last week, my family got that wake up call.

I’ve never really been hesitant about change, knowing that “the greater the risk you take, the bigger the rewards are”. Although there are times that the changes are just a little too big to swallow all at once.

Our Canadian Visas will be issued in the next few weeks.

According to the embassy, we only have a year from the date of our medical exam (February 05, 2007) to stay in this country and fly off to theirs. My parents are leaving sometime around August 17, 2007 with my brother so he can start school in September. My sister and I have decided that we are brave enough to live on our own and stay until February 01, 2008.

It all seems too soon.

I’m thankful that my family is supportive of my decision to stay behind first. They’re selling 84 Small Horseshoe in December, so at least my sister and I have a place to crash until Christmas. Our pad will be dreadfully empty as we are selling everything by July. (any buyers?)

Fortunately I’ll be able to keep my computer, my bed, and my clothes. As for the TV cable, we’ll figure something out, as well as our neighborhood friendly wifi connections.

Honestly, my sister and I are uneasy as we have been coddled most of our lives. This is a big step for us and it’s a challenge I’m willing to take. Thank you to Dino for supporting me and helping me figure out some things.

As I have learned, it’s best to live one day at a time. You get to savor each day and let go of the worries that tomorrow may bring.

I’m not a hypocrite, I am scared too. I can’t imagine giving up this Filipino lifestyle that I’ve become accustomed to. Picking up everything and leaving all my friends is difficult. I’m aware people have done this numerous times but I am also knowledgeable of the stories they have to share. Each life is lived differently, and I guess it’s time that I embrace the change.

I just need time.

GMAIL paper

2007-04-02T10:55:00.000+08:00

New! Introducing Gmail Paper

Everyone loves Gmail. But not everyone loves email, or the digital era. What ever happened to stamps, filing cabinets, and the mailman? Well, you asked for it, and it’s here. We’re bringing it back.

A New Button
Now in Gmail, you can request a physical copy of any message with the click of a button, and we'll send it to you in the mail.
Simplicity Squared
Google will print all messages instantly and prepare them for delivery. Allow 2-4 business days for a parcel to arrive via post.

Total Control
A stack of Gmail Paper arrives in a box at your doorstep, and it’s yours to keep forever. You can read it, sort it, search it, touch it. Or even move it to the trash—the real trash. (Recycling is encouraged.)

Keep it Secret, Keep it Safe
Google takes privacy very seriously. But once your email is physically in your hands, it's as secure as you want to make it.

Hmm.. too good to be true?

read more

First, I can't find the button that will allow me to PAPER ARCHIVE my emails.
Is this because I'm located in a third world country? hehe. It doesn't say which countries this is applicable to. I'm guessing USA and Canada..

Second, it sounds like a really good idea, but how far will people go to printing free "archives" with advertisements on the back?

to the marketing people of google, kudos! another great marketing scheme that you have come up with. now only if it ACTUALLY had a button somewhere..

2007-03-31T22:31:00.000+08:00

under construction

2007-02-10T01:02:00.000+08:00

my life is not worth sharing at the moment

everyday i try to come up with something to share

but i can't form the words

i just see pictures

and feel emotions

and i want more time for me

i want to feel accomplished

the popular topic of the month, heart's day.

can't they look around and realize all the pain they're causing people?

this world

lacks

love.

and a month celebrating love

results in broken hearts

broken wallets

and broken dreams

is it worth all that?

or is my bitter self talking?

2007-01-21T23:24:00.000+08:00

i seriously need to revamp.

french tips

2007-01-21T21:13:00.000+08:00

I think someone heard my insecurities yesterday and a miracle happened today.

My family (except for my surfing sister) ate out for lunch at Teriyaki Boy, Tomas Morato. For dessert, they finally decided to try out this frozen yogurt that I've been pushing them to try since last month. My dad loved it! (i <3 my dad)

Mom invited me to the spa where we sat at the steam room and just let ourselves perspire. I was in my two piece and decided to jump into the pool and let my heart get pumping. Well, At first it was difficult to do laps. But in the end, I did a lap where I didn't stop in the middle of the pool.

The massage was great.

Then we had our manicure pedicure at the parlor beside the spa. The girl was insisting to thread my virgin eyebrows. It hurt! But the output put a smile on the customer's teary-eyed face.
-----
working on a script

i used to love mirrors

2007-01-20T23:51:00.000+08:00

I don't understand this "need" to be thin.

Years ago, women with curves were considered real. If I lived in those days, I would probably have a statue of myself with all my curves hanging out and no one would give a shit if I have one curve larger than the others.

What I do understand if the hate and disgust I feel when I look into my new full length body mirror. When I raise my arms, my skin sort of stretches making my body seem a bit slimmer. Also, I've gotten used to walking around while holding my stomach in, to make myself seem less unflattering.

People used to say I was fat years ago. I never really saw myself as fat back then since I was only in high school and being fat wasn't a big issue back then. Now, when I pull out the old pictures, people react and repeatedly insist how thin I was back then. And here I thought I was fat to them before. I must be a whale of a person by now.

People who know me and actually read this certain post may be thinking that I'm pitying myself and that I may be "fishing" for comments. This is all real people. My insecurity decided to visit me today, making sure I stayed in my room because gosh no, we wouldn't want to be seen in public with my unflattering figure, AND avoid putting on my clothes trying to see which ones still fit.

I don't want to turn into one of those pill-digesting addicts who actually want my ribs to pop out, but I can't deny that that thought has crossed my mind.

Sure, exercise, eat right, drink water.. it's easier said than done. With my schedule and budget I can't afford to take better care of myself. Eat less, walk more, live healthy.. yes I'd love to.. I'm trying.

My optimistic self says that I can do this and I can achieve anything.

My pessimistic self says dream on.

2007-01-10T20:17:00.000+08:00

Horribly lazy at the moment.
Still hungover from work.
Will revamp and start my daily blogs again
by Monday perhaps?
Watched Eragon.
Slightly
disappointed.
Loved Saphira
without the feathers.

I should go before I post any more nonsense.

let the countdown begin

2006-12-31T19:45:00.000+08:00

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Every year we are given the chance to start anew, in hopes of becoming a better person and to lead a more fulfilling life. I wish you to have a prosperous new year!

it's a big rush

2006-12-30T14:58:00.000+08:00

They say that jumping off a plane gives the same rush as falling in love. They're both deadly and the risk of losing yourself is so high, making the whole falling feeling a rewarding experience when you stand up alive.

Trust plays a big role in this whole love idea.

When we begin to trust, it is like tying a blindfold over our eyes and allowing the other person to hold the gun to our chest. It is a nerve-wracking experience that gives a fulfilling sensation when the trust is never broken. Quite an adrenalin rush. But what do you do when they pull the trigger? Part of you dies and it is quite impossible to ever trust again.

Don't get me wrong, I'm in it for the whole falling in love thing. I guess the adrenalin rush makes me feel alive and the pain is part of the whole process.

-----
As most of you have noticed, I haven't been able to keep track of my food intake over the holidays. The new year should give me a good start.

Santa had a bad day

2006-12-26T00:12:00.001+08:00

One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out. Mrs. Clause was pissed that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house. Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax.

When he got there, Mrs. Clause was all up in his face and wouldn't let down. Then, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He said the reindeer were sick and tired of Santa not upgrading to the new lightweight sleigh and they were joining the elves walkout. Santa slammed the door and threatend "The next person who knocks on that door is gonna get it!"

At that time, there was a knock on the door. Santa flung the door open and there stood a tiny little angel. The angel had been searching for the perfect Christmas tree for Santa's house all day long, until it found the perfect one. The little angel asked, "Santa, I was wondering where you would like me to stick this tree?"

And that is the story of how the angel atop the tree tradition began.

the holidays again

2006-12-24T15:51:00.000+08:00

December 22

We finally had our barkada party at Misty's house and it was a fun night. All the girls wore dresses and many had on Santa hats throughout the night. I don't have a camera anymore so I wasn't able to take any pictures worth posting.

which reminds me..

Dear Santa, please give me a nice camera soon. I can wait.. Just not too long. Thank you.

Misty decorated her place and fed us with her pre-birthday feast. I wasn't able to finish the food on my plate since I was already stuffed with the chips! Being assigned to help organize the party, I had to come up with games that would help in keeping my friends happy. When the others post their pictures, I will show them to you. Like I said, the party was fun but I couldn't rest just yet.

December 23

last

minute

Christmas

shopping.

GAH.

I didn't want to come home without gifts for my family so Dino and I (along with his siblings) hit the mall and shopping til we literally dropped. Our feet were aching and our wallets were empty, but we were happy. *smile*

Now, it's just a few more hours until my family celebrates this season at my gandma's house. I have to finish wrapping the rest of my gifts for the family.

I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas! It's the time of the year where you can feel like a kid again and enjoy time with your loved ones.

quite unproductive day

2006-12-19T22:36:00.000+08:00

Wow. The last time I have been able to post was last week. Maybe that allows me to have this one unproductive day and not feel guilty about it. It was a pretty stressful week that caused me to stay late (more like, til morning) in the office and not file for overtime. Why you ask? Sometimes it's embarrassing to file for OT when I should be able to finish my work during the expected work hours. I dunno. It's not a just reason but it's the only one I can come up with.

Let's open my planner and try to recall what I've been doing this past week. Without my planner, I don't think I would be able to rely on my poor and beaten up memory. Tsk tsk.

Yes, I still jotted down all the (or most of) the food I have been eating. Hmmm, will get to that in a while. Let's jump dates.

Friday, 8

Printed stuff at Office Warehouse
Ended up cutting the invitations myself - my poor fingers.
*I tasted heaven

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L: ground beef and vegetables, lettuce wraps
S: yoh-gurt foz*
D: pasta

Saturday, 9

Met up with Ian today and we had a pretty good feast.

After which, the blood fairy paid me a visit and made my weekend unpleasantly emotional.

an excerpt from my journal

I hate this emotional roller-coaster
I hate feeling so vulnerable
It's like I have no shield to protect me

I am strong!
I should be
No more tears
they make me weak

I want you to listen
Gah. I can be surprisingly emotional.
Notice the rise in my food intake?
No internet.

-----
L: Chocolate Kiss Lasagna
S: Yoh-gurt foz, poptarts, chips
D: Lechon leftovers

Sunday, 10

was still vulnerable.

I tried to be numb.

-----
B: Pancake with syrup
L: Subway tuna melt, 2 chocolate chip cookies, rootbeer
S: Chippy, Nova

Monday, 11

2am: he knows me so well. he fixed everything, just like that. :)

buzzy buzzy bee. I stayed at the office til 12 with Charo.

-----
L: Lumpia
S: 1/2 slice Biko
D: cheeseburger with bacon

Tuesday, 12

was still tired. Maybe it showed because

the boss treated us to a foot spa at City Lifestyle. Whoo!!

-----
B: McHotcake Meal, Hasbrown, Coffee
S: 1/2 Banana Turon
D: Steak Sisig

Wednesday, 13

I almost threw up Ronald McDonald.

Stayed til 12am again. I'm getting so tired. I just wish that this party was over and done with already.

-----
B: McHotcake meal, Hashbrown, Coffee
L: McCheeseburger Meal
should be puking by now
D: juicy Cheeseburger with bacon

words for the night: Regurgitate and Burp!

Thursday, 14

Tad late for work again. The Christmas scrooge struck when I realized that I don't have any money to buy gifts for people this season. And here I thought that by working, I'd be able to earn more by the time Christmas came around.. Boy, did my bubble pop in my face!

Sometimes when you miss someone so much, you do impulsive things. I saw this pair of black havaianas in a store window and bought him a pair for no reason at all. And they fit him perfectly!

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B: Graham Crackers
L: Feast at LGV occular
D: pesto bread

Friday, 15

MSGO CHRISTMAS PARTY
finally done.

I won best hat, jumped into a pool and ran around the party until everyone left. Tired? Hell yeah.

-----
L: KFC burger
D: PARTY FOOD

Theeeeeeeen the weekend came and nothing much really happened. So now, I'm just taking one thing at a time until the Christmas break(?) hits this weekend.

Oh! My huggable santa gave me:

My Golden Apple Body Shop Body Butter!! I love the smell and it's not greasy. :) I've been eying this since I first saw it when December started. Now it's sitting nicely on my dresser and waits for me to take a shower every morning.

And who would have thought that these tiny creatures would find their way back into my palm?

I got my Tamagotchi V3 !! I'm giving one to my younger brother for Christmas (the only gift I've gotten so far) so I had an excuse to get one for myself so he has someone to play with. The Asian designs they had here weren't really that nice. I'm hoping I can find someone who's coming home in the next few months to pick me up a Tamagotchi V4 with a really great design. Yes, this is my current addiction that I can take with me anywhere.

Gee. 6 days till Christmas.

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The busiest time of the year

dec 7//daily meals

2006-12-08T13:04:00.000+08:00

-----
B: pop-tart, banana
L: go go taco Caesar, chicken salad Caesar dressing
D: ground beef and lettuce wraps
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it's not always about me

2006-12-07T13:08:00.000+08:00

Let me tell you something. You know, when I sound concerned, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm concerned about me. So don't go and flip on me when I try to reason out with you. Sometimes you have to think of others as well! Don't be selfish, man!

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oh, grow up.

dec 6//daily meals

2006-12-07T11:09:00.000+08:00

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L: Fried Rice, Sweet and Sour Pork, 2 strips Bacon
S: half a snickers bar
D: 5pcs chicken nuggets and McSpaghetti
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dec5//daily meals

2006-12-06T01:29:00.000+08:00

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B: 4 pcs kababayan bread muffin
L: Salad and Pork steak
D: Chinese. --will not disclose due to "Because-I-Can" reasons-- haha!
-----

giddy little girl

2006-12-05T17:02:00.000+08:00

oooh.. I can't wait. ;)

It's an hour to six.

He'll pick me up from the office.

<3

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no dinner diet tonight

Dear Future Me

2006-12-04T22:05:00.000+08:00

Talk about timing.

It isn't everyday that you get a letter from yourself a whole year ago. What I wrote to myself surprised me as if I knew exactly what to tell myself. Minus the little gasp I let out while opening my inbox, it was a pretty positive surprise. Unfortunately I can't shake it out of my head. Somehow it's stuck there like a cat in a high tree.

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on Sunday, December 4, 2005, and sent via FutureMe.org)

Dear FutureMe,
By now you should have reached a certain goal in your life.. Ask yourself..

ARE YOU HAPPY?

Right now you are struggling to find something to make your life meaningful. have you found it yet?

you're struggling with your thesis now. look back and see if it made a difference in your life. and stop being so sentimental!!! :) hahaha!

love yourself

"It is in you i found freedom. Set me free."

Dont forget those who love you. You are celebrating your anniversary tomorrow with Dino. I hope it is special. :)

Exactly 1 year ago.

I SHOULD have reached a certain goal by now but most of them are little ones moving to bigger goals. One goal for sure is being updated daily, and that is my food intake to make sure I watch what I eat. But seriously, is that enough?

AM I HAPPY? I can't count the number of people who have asked me this question in the last 3 weeks. Who would have thought the three short words would make you stop and think about your current position in life. AM I HAPPY? Sure, everything is okay.. It's not depressing but it's not mesmerizing either. AM I HAPPY? Why, are you?

My thesis *laugh* The one thing I focused my whole year on. Yes I have seen the difference it has given impact to in my life. I have learned. The hundred plus pages of my dissertation helped me grow and realize that there ARE shortcuts in life that don’t have to be bad. Yes, I am proud of my thesis but I believe looking back at it now, one will never feel satisfaction. There is ALWAYS something better we could have done better. ALWAYS.

I do love myself. Do you?

and he still makes me feel free. :)

and I do feel loved.. sometimes. You can’t always feel loved. Ironically, too much love can send you to the looney bin. It can smother you and make you delusional. Love just enough to love yourself back.

and yes, we are celebrating another year together in a few hours. It’s weird how I passed by school today, where everything started between the two of us. The Christmas lights were up and the Paskuhan tree was lit. Every year, they light up to remind us how much we love each other.

-----------
and then I write myself again.

dec 4//daily meals

2006-12-04T21:59:00.000+08:00

-----
L: 1 cup rice, adobo, 1/4 bowl pancit miso
S: 1 1/2 slice of butter cake and coke
D: 3 slices guava
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Pamper Day

2006-12-03T22:02:00.000+08:00

After that long tiring week, I decided that it was time to say goodbye to my stress and head for the spa. Luckily, a new one opened near the 7/11 in our area and was a 10 minute walk from my house. After I showered and dressed, I packed my book that my good friend Ian lent me ages ago, (the one by James Owen: Here, There be Dragons)

I finally got a good 3 hour read! The book has interesting characters and I couldn't help but analyze the illustrations in each chapter. I like Aven so far. She rocks.

The foot massage helped me relax while I sat in their big black soft chairs and sank into my imaginary world. The only dragons I've come across so far were the names of their boats. Boo. I will continue to read and hope that the travel will take me to more exciting places.

Pardon the photo. It's pretty raw and it was just taken from my handy camera phone. I HAD to capture the moment.

------------
I scolded myself today. No more lates and absents for the rest of the year!! shame on you.

[edit] I just realized.. I have no money left.. I haven't been able to save much for the holidays.. *sniff*

dec 3//daily meals

2006-12-03T21:13:00.000+08:00

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B: pancake with syrup; 1 banana
L: 2 tacos ( lettuce, tomato, cheese, beef and hot sauce)
D: Plate of salad (same ingredients as last nights salad) and mini pork chop
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dec 2//daily meals

2006-12-03T08:13:00.000+08:00

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B: 3pcs of bread
L: 1/2 cup rice, fish, guava slices, 1 pc pastel
D: i plate of salad with grapes and tomato(yummm)
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Friday Five

2006-12-02T00:48:00.000+08:00

There used to be a popular site Friday Five that would post 5 things that you repost and answer on your blog. Unfortunately, they took it down last May 2004. *sad face* Alot of sites are dedicated to Friday blogs but I'm too lazy to search for a nice one. So instead, I decided to come up with my own 5 friday for today. Let's start with something simple. Suggestions are welcome!

Five Friday:
The five things I bought this week that meant something:

1. A High School Musical Lunch bag for my brother from McD. -- I originally wanted to buy it for myself, but I knew he would appreciate it more.
2. A pack of nerds -- the pink one (and i remembered paula!)
3. A tall Caramel Affogato -- I was able to donate my sticker to Kaye.
4. A pair of Mossimo jeans -- I finally got to trade in my Gift Certificate before it expired! It was a payment for Jam 88.3's paper bag design.
5. A roll of tissue -- The office is always out of tissue and it saved my day! hee. :)

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now, on with my work

daily meals

2006-12-01T23:32:00.000+08:00

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B: 1/2 ham sandwich
L: Skyflakes and hot tea
D: (@ peri peri chicken) 1/2 plate of ceasar salad, 1/2 chicken burger, sugar free fat free scoop of ice cream
Dd: tall Caramel Affogato
E: total of 15 minute brisk walk.
-----

tomorrow is the first of December

2006-11-30T19:40:00.000+08:00

25 days til I go broke.
Let's look at the bright side and remember that Christmas time brings SparkHope and Starbucks Season together.

Hence, my new planner.

This is all for the better, I said. So, I told myself that I will start pulling myself together, hence the inspiration for the blog revamp. This planner will be kept at home to avoid mishaps such as last year's case of the stolen planner. I will use the planner to keep track of my life, this blog for releasing ideas and to be able to express myself, my multiply and hopefully a flickr account for my photographs and for other odds and ends. The other social networks will have to wait as I don't have all the time in the world to fix everything.

Starting this December, I will post all the meals I've had daily along with the "exercises" I've done. Let's cross our fingers and hope it will result in a slimmer and more gorgeous me. HA!
The explanation behind that? Well, I just feel that if I share my everyday intakes, I would be more conscious to eat healthier food and do more cardio.

My goal: reach my desired BMI by August 2007. at least 7 months for gradual weight loss. You see, I've learned that losing weight fast comes back even faster. *sigh*

---------------
another sleepless night

ANG MAHIRAP SAYO

2006-11-30T15:19:00.000+08:00

pag sinabing hindi kaya, wag nang ipagpilit pa. pero may magagawa ba ako?

jo and anj..

2006-11-29T22:21:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to two of my good friends, both in different areas around the world..

i was late again

2006-11-29T20:19:00.000+08:00

When I opened my eyes to check the time, I knew I was going to be late again. No matter how hard I tried, it was impossible to get up. My mind was screaming "get up for work!!" while my body was whispering for five more minutes.

After my short battle, I decided to text Charo that I wouldn't be able to ride with her to work. Then, I snoozed my alarm for another five minutes.

I woke up and the strangest things started to happen..

My boss walked into my room and I rushed up to greet her. She said she would just wait for me to take a bath then I could ride to work with her. Inquisitively, I asked her about Charo and she told me that she already went ahead. So I started to choose my clothes and rushed to the bathroom. On my way out, I asked my boss, who was sitting on a bean bag if she wanted any breakfast. She said sure, and I might as well offer her some juice.

So okay, I was about to have the help prepare her food when she asked me what time it was. Apparently, her watch ran out of battery and wanted to fix the time. I noticed I was already running late and I didn't want to tell her that it was already 9am. I stuttered and told her it was only 8am, then rushed on with my business.

I came out 30 minutes later in my towel with another wrapped around my head to keep my hair from dripping. I peeked and saw my boss eating her breakfast with her back turned to me. Regardless of the bath, I was still so sleepy and and decided to take a nap..

An hour later, I woke up and realized how late I really am. It was already 10am, an hour late for work, still in my pajamas, and no boss anywhere. I actually thought she left without me only to realize it was all a dream. The disappointment just made it even harder to get up as I felt tired from all the rushing in my head!!

------------
A super typhoon is headed our way

Finger Frenzy

2006-11-23T13:38:00.000+08:00

My cousin Kai showed me this site months ago, and since I work as a creative designer for a medical transcription company now, I decided to give it a search. Medical Transcription Companies need people who can type fast and accurately. I'm thinking of showing this to my officemates. NO, this will not be the official testing program for transcriptionists. I just wanted to see if I was able to break my previous record of 3 seconds.. and voila!

Give it a try and let me know how you did. It doesn't have to be your first try. ;)

Another sick day

2006-11-22T11:19:00.000+08:00

It's not fun to be sick. I needed some cheering up.

I decided to post a video of one of the coolest music videos ever. If you haven't seen this OK GO video yet, you have to watch.

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It's time to read

do i look fat?

2006-11-21T14:51:00.000+08:00

Around 2am, I had cold sweat and felt like I couldn't get myself up. My nose was useless and my mouth was dry. My throat was sore and no matter how hard I tried not to cough, it would find a way to get out and cause more pain. After finding the thermometer, I checked my temperature and it was confirmed. I had a fever.

After walking to the kitchen, I toasted myself some bread and butter knowing that I shouldn't take my medicine on an empty stomach. I gulped down some Gatorade hoping to give myself some energy and at the same time quench my dry throat. A few minutes later, I felt a little better but I couldn't deny how weak I felt.

I would wake up every hour and find a more comfortable position to let some air through my nostrils. It wasn't a very pleasant experience and the same thoughts were running through my head "I can't miss work tomorrow. What if I get behind my work? What will I do at home? How about Alex' collaterals? If my fever will go away, will I have enough energy to go to work?" Finally, it was 8am and I made my decision to rest at home instead of possibly making my fever worse and feel hopeless at work.

The bright side? I get some good rest. I haven't slept this long for a while now and I know I will be able to read my book that I borrowed from Ian over a week ago. Due to my tight schedule, I haven't gotten far but I'm pretty sure it's a book I will enjoy.

Aside from my resting and book craving, great news was delivered by my college professor Sir Jay saying that our short film will be entered in another short film festival!! It has been shown in several short film festivals, the most recent at CCP last Nov 16-18. Now it'll show at CINEKATIPUNAN Mag.Net this december! Can't wait. :) He's a really great professor who makes things HAPPEN for his students. And to think I've already graduated!

Television:

I want to watch the TYRA show tonight at 7pm on ETC. It's about the old female question "do i look fat?"

-------
TANG research

how well do you think you know me?

2006-11-17T21:34:00.000+08:00

My cousin Kai tagged whoever and I believe I fall into that category.

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1. Think of 15 short bits of interesting stuff about yourself. And they've gotta be true.
2. Come up with 5 false statements regarding yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of believability.
3. Jumble them all up together and list them in any order.
4. Post them on Blogger (LJ) and let people guess which the five false ones are!
5. Get 5 others to do the same.

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1. Although I love Filipino food, I don't eat kare-kare. (A Filipino dish:.. read more here)
2. I once went to school with no bra on.
3. I had both my ears pierced four times each but I only wear one set of earrings.
4. In high school, I was able to throw a teacher out with one pinch.
5. I have sneezed more than 30 times in one hour.
6. My biggest talent is burping my ABC's and words.
7. I can smoke a pack of cigarettes in one day.
8. It is hard for me to sleep if I don't text my boyfriend.
9. I am related to Patrick and Cheska Garcia because their dad is my dad's cousin.
10. Once, a taxi driver told me to hold this knife he held to my face and I just replied "No.. thanks."
15. My sister and I fight alot and we have wrestled on the sidewalk in Canada.
16. When I was 11, I stole a two shirts that I wore under the one I walked in with.
17. When I was 9, my mom told me that the car knows where we want to go, and that was why the signal lights would know which way to turn.. and I believed her.
18. I want to get a tattoo someday
19. Due to fat issues, I went four days striaght just drinking water.
20. I don't talk when I'm mad.

So, what's wrong with this picture? *grin*

I wrote this during the day at work. It took me a while but I finished it! :)

-----
Tag! you're it!

are you the demolition man?

2006-11-15T17:16:00.000+08:00

This is a hilarious audio file of Little Becky

Turn up your audio and listen to her adorable voice. Laughtrip!

---------------
now how funny is that?

Spark Hope

2006-11-15T00:04:00.000+08:00

Somehow, I can't sleep before the clock hits 12mn. The Benadryl should have kicked in by now but I want to stay up and blog. My Benadryl is like a sleeping pill that also works while I snooze the night away. My allergies attacked me and my officemates today by rudely interrupting their every sentence. (Okay, maybe that's a little over the top. Let's say it was every other sentence.) In the past decade, I have gotten used to my allergies but it is still a big inconvenience for everyone around me.

Question:
If a pregnant woman suddenly had allergies, can the baby go deaf? Let us pretend that she sneezes like a boy and blows air like a wolf, can that damage the baby in any way?

That has always been a question on my mind since I do plan to have kids someday but I fear for their life as my sneezing could kill them.

Starbucks

Have you seen this season's website? It's pretty cool actually as they even have an IMV on YM for that.

My caffeine addiction has gone through the roof but I still haven't collected enough stickers for my 2007 planner! Due to the loss of my planner last year, I made a promise to myself that I will take care of 2007. Please help a friend in need.

Updates Updates

2006-11-13T23:56:00.000+08:00

Yes, I was able to accomplish something when I got home from work. My head hurts now and I need sleep. ~~I'm trying~~ There's this thing I'm trying where I don't start my sentences with "I". It would just deem too obvious how narcissistic I truly am. Next, I will stop using the word altogether. *nervous silence*

This site is still under construction but everything is going smoothly. Stay tuned as more clickables and pictures will be added.

--------
And I become Cinderella

lunch break

2006-11-13T12:41:00.000+08:00

I'm happy to see people actually visiting my site again. It's a lonely thought that they don't leave a note, a comment or a simple tag. haha! i've made a list of things to put up by the end of the week.

and a little bit more tweaking. I've got to finish my design by the end of the day as i promised myself.

----
yumm, pasta!

Hoorah!!

2006-11-12T16:08:00.000+08:00

I've finally gotten around to updating my blog and i actually like it. It took me a while to find that inspiration and i will credit all my brushes and sites that i checked that helped build my blog. I'm still in the process of tweaking the details, like putting tags in my blogs, fixing my albums and playlist, etc. This is just a very good day for me since it has been more than half the year since i've actually posted an entry that qualifies as a blog entry.

So after i come home from mass, i'll see what other additions I can do. Suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

--------
this doesn't end here

2006-07-07T19:18:00.001+08:00

yes yes im working on a new layout... :D

2006-02-25T05:00:00.000+08:00

Is it possible for people in a relationship to become bestfriends?

or is this the ideal kind of relationship that we all know is impossible?

Knowing that the two of you are committed and willing to stay together for more reasons than one gives you the ability to tell your partner ANYTHING, right?

Or knowing that you two have a relationship means that you have to approach each other with caution, holding back things you know can trigger hurt and pain.. like they say "What they won't know won't hurt them." ?

How much does Truth and Trust play in this game of love?

Should you be able to pick out the things that you share with your significant other to avoid hurting them? Or is it better to just be yourself and see where that takes you? But doesn't it also mean that you have to be sensitive of their feelings too?

This game of love is getting so complicated that the right thing to do and the thing that you think is right is getting mistaken for the other.

Am i being too idealistic? ~~Hopeless Romantic?~~ or practical?

Where does the line of frienship, bestfriendom, and relationship start and end?

-----
you're safe. nobody knows you're here.

it was in you i found freedom

2005-12-04T02:02:00.000+08:00

it was in you i found freedom

set me free.

Slowly, I'll put my life together again. But today, I need to start with just one foot at a time. I know I'm happy, one way or another, but only because I refuse to take bigger steps.

One day, I'll have to take that giant leap. And If i bruise myself, I have to withstand the pain and move on. But as for now, babysteps will be just fine.... won't it?

I felt lost for a while. I don't even know if it felt good to be away from myself. I'm counting the days til this dreadful feeling will be all over. Long gone are the days I used to just laugh about everything. I'm starting to feel old.

I want to graduate already. I want so much in my life that I'm actually scaring myself.

hella long

2005-10-22T23:17:00.000+08:00

it's been more than three months since ive actually updated my blog. i used to be able to say somthing almost every chance i get. i think im growing old. :(

It's my sembreak and i really don't feel the break at all. oh well, as my dad always says, just a few more months to go ann! yeah, put on the pressure. i HAVE to graduate because if i dont, itll break everyone's hearts. im supposed to be the goody goody girl who does everything im supposed to.

----------
expectations can kill. so please. stop killing me.

I WILL WORK ON MY BLOG THIS BREAK. I WILL COME UP WITH A NEW LAYOUT. I WILL UPDATE UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING TO UPDATE ANYMORE.

why does publishing a post take forever??

2005-07-05T16:12:00.000+08:00

walking to school is okay.

walking to school in the rain with no umbrella is not.

----------------------

my contacts are harder to wear now. my astigmatism went higher and they have "weights" so that they stay at a certain position in my eyes. yes folks, my contacts have weights.

----------------------

i forgot to bring my charger to the condo. grrr. on a lighter note, we've been using our aircon lately! hurrah!!! on an even lighter note, selloutgirl informed me that there's a DSL lite now available for 700/month or so.... YEY!!!!! I can use the net from my pc now!!! well not exactly, i still have to ask my condo-mates. anywaaay..

i have class at 5.. gotta run.

(please pardon my poor sentence stuctures and sad entry.i miss my digicam. ;( boo.)

<3 <3 <3 Happy 1 and 7 love!

2005-06-19T16:04:00.000+08:00

It's extremely irritating when you're finally updating your dying blog then suddenly the internet disappears on you and you lose your entry. Your friggn long entry. Whooppeee!

So I have to start all over again despite my current hate for internet right now.

My last entry was more than a month ago and people have been scolding me and constantly telling me to update. I feel so sheepish. I was on a roll when I suddenly lost the energy to tell people about me. Yes, one of the most important things in my life.. me. I just felt that *warning, rant starting* my thoughts and everyday happenings weren't worthy for everyone to read. I really envy people some times, when they can just blog whatever pops into their heads. For instance..

Karen has so many friends who have the same interests as she does so blogging about Yoochun and the gang means something to other people.
Essa has like 15 comments a day!!! now that really makes you want to update all the time.
lovine has the most AMAZING photos.
Michi has many readers as well who arn't afraid to comment.
hanagirl is a real BLOG ADDICT and her reward is having as many as 30+ people visit her site a day.
selloutgirl has the most amazing posts. She can come up with witty phrases and isn't afraid of posting her thoughts.

I can't name everyone I envy or else no one will read my blog no more. Just check out my links and see for yourself.

I give props to all the people on my friends list. Bravo to you all.

*deep sigh*
Okay, after cracking my knuckles, I think I'm ready to give this blog thing another try. Since my last entry, here are some highlights I can actually remember..

May 16-20
I went to the beach of the summer. It's been three years since I've set foot on Boracay and I don't regret going back there last month. As a matter of fact, I do miss it terribly. I didn't give a damn if my fats were hanging out. I was there so *bleh* to the skinny folks.

click on the pics for more peeektures

Then the whole summer I've been working on my ass. No, not working out. I've been sitting down at meetings to plan the school year. How exciting. It doesn't really do wonders for my image, cept make me look more like an even bigger goody-goody. But everyone can think what they want. I've got vices too. I'm normal!

Another insight worth sharing is my need for money. Donations will be accepted in any form. *grins*

Also, tomorrow I'm going to be sleeping at the condo again. I do heart the place. Condo is love. It's amazing. I just walk downstairs and what's this..? I'm at school!!

click on the pics for more peeektures

on a sadder note, this is my thesis year. The mortality rate of our thesis is brutal. Out of 500 expected graduates, only 300 make it. I happened to choose special events as my topic and our thesis adviser warned us that there will be crying involved so good luck to me.

I will bloghop today and see how everyone is doing. Hopefully I can bring this computer to the condo this week. Then I can make a new layout and be productive. Oh yeah, I might as well start on my thesis too. ahaha!

Chismis and gossip
-------------------

Karla turns 18.
Paula cries at the finale of Mamories of Bali.
Aya and trina have a new love. Boxing.

2005-05-10T19:20:00.000+08:00

I've been away for quite some time.

I haven't been blogging because I didn't think the world would like to hear of my woes and whines. I am trying not to blog about the things I want to have, and the things I can't have. I am such a material girl. *dances to madonna*

STRESS Stress strESS STRESS Stress strESS

I DID have one day of fun recently. I bought 2 BIKINIS. ahaha YES FOLKS, I will wear a Bikini to Boracay. So what if I didn't reach my ideal weight this summer. So what if the heat made me gain or keep my pounds. *the heat is so evil. It makes you cry for Ice Cream*

My Ate Kathy showed me this place where I was able to get TWO BIKINIS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE. well, it's not really buy one take one. The prices were really afforable that I was able to fit two suits AND a pair of board shorts into my budget. Yeah, I need to cover my ass with shorts. I have sworn not to tell people about this store because my cousin will really really kill me. So, cousins secrets stay. And here are my suits in yummy chocolate and sunny beach yellow.

2005-04-27T22:10:00.000+08:00

we're taking it one day at a time.. It's hard but it's worth it.
<3 <3 <3

2005-04-24T02:31:00.000+08:00

When two people know that at some point in their relationship it will have to face an end, should they do anything about it?

Should they make the most out of the time they have left to cope with an even more torn apart heart or do they need to just abruptly end this to save themselves from the grief even though there could still be that one chance of being able to pull everything off?

When should they stop believing? Should they even stop?

What do you do when you have finally reached that fork in the road? You're not exactly there at this very moment but you can see it coming. It's a decision that you can't just toss a coin. Heads I win this thing, tails I lose. It's just not logical.

Life is a bitch. You get to meet this person that finally makes sense to you. When you two are together, all you can feel is perfection. It's like nothing else seems to be wrong with the two of you. You forget about your problems and everything just seems to fit the picture. You accept all his imperfections, knowing that you have those too. You two know that you are madly in love with each other. Yet once you two are apart, that's when questions start pouring in.

You can't just keep pushing things till you reach that dead end. But you can't just stop anytime you want to.

Can you?

2005-04-23T02:38:00.000+08:00

I seriously feel like goo. I feel like the kind of goo you don't even want to stick your finger in, fearing that the slimey substance will never come off your fingertip. It's an icky feeling that doesn't want to go away. I'm not even the cold goo that you can play with! For those who are familiar, it's called Nickelodeon GAK. But I'm not GAK. I'm not slime. I'm goo.

Gooey goooberly gooooooseingliatingly goo.

2005-04-23T00:35:00.000+08:00

I was feeling nostalgic today

I ran across a site on PEx and started to look for my old friends. When I say old, I mean almost 12 years ago old. I started looking for my school and old teachers hoping to look for a way to keep in touch with them. My sister said she was able to keep in touch her with old PE teacher (how athletic) when she found his email address on the internet.

The link from PEx was kinda freaky since it can even show you satellite pictures of places you want. For instance, I looked for my old school and this is what I found.

Then I wondered what my old house looked like and I found this.

Now that's scary. I wonder what my old friends are doing right now..

Die dust die!

I'm so allergic to dust it's not even funny. We were cleaning out the lockers today and there was so much dust going around my nose turned Rudolph red. I was supposed to go to our GINTONG SUSI Exhibit but my allergies made me too weak to go.

My good friend Diana is having a dinner tonight since she's leaving tomorrow and I feel too sick to get out of the house!

Symptoms:Itchy throat, Itchy nose, Clogged nose, Rudolph nose (serious symptom) and watery eyes

Condition:Too sick to enjoy anything.

2005-04-21T16:06:00.000+08:00

my tag board is down.

That just sucks. I'm thinking about redoing my layout.

2005-04-19T12:55:00.000+08:00

when you're pissed off, the worst thing anyone can do is rub it in your face. People shouldn't do on saying "Ano bang nangyayari sayo?" (translated: "what the hell is going on with you?" or "Diba sinabi ko sayo wag mo nga gawin yun!?" (translated: "didn't i tell you not to do that!?") It can only make things worse. A lot worse. You can feel the anger bubbling up to the top making you want to scream like a steaming engine. Curses start forming in your head that you have never used before but your mind is stopping you from regretting tomorrow. But when someone is pissed off, the least anyone can do is comfort them, not make them look like a retard who can't comprehend the situation.

2005-04-14T19:44:00.000+08:00

Dino taught me how to make SUSHI. Yummmm. We had loads of Maki while our eyes were glued to the telly switching from AXN to Studio23 to catch CSI.

2005-04-10T20:51:00.000+08:00

I painted my own chucks.
I wish they'd turn real.

I got this from hanagirl. You can add to the painting, or create your own. just click!

this one is for guess who? :)

2005-04-10T14:54:00.000+08:00

Work with perks!

I've been gone for a whole week, and this was the vacation I really needed. Okay, so it wasn't a 100% vacation, but being able to work for your mom, earn money, and to do what you really enjoy makes a big difference.

Mom and I really got to bond.

Yes, I convinced her to jump on our king-sized bed at the hotel. It's something we don't get to do often. I think everyone should jump on big beds every now and then. It takes out the stress, it exercises the muscles and it's just plain fun. I guess staying at the hotel for four days and three nights with service at your feet is not exactly what people think of as work. I was my mom's personal assistant and it was for an event, which is something I look forward to doing in the future. :)

Treated with royalty

Imagine, the moment we got there, we were told that they upgraded our complimentary room to another room that has a king-sized bed and better facilities than regular complimentary rooms. Now THAT has got to be something. Mom isn't supposed to pay anything since she was hired for the event. Meaning all our accomodations, buffet meals and etc are paid for already! oooh yeah!!! Now this is what I'm talking about.

Camwhores and then some..

No, I didn't forget to bring a camera. I HAD TO TAKE PICTURES. I was all prettied up and ready for my solo photo shoot. But I wasn't alone.. Mom had some shots too, as well as my siblings when they followed a few days after. I think this sickness runs in the family. We love the camera. The camera is our friend. Take care of the camera. (on that note, my sister and I are very sad right now since our camera is broke. *pout* It's being fixed but we miss it dearly.) For more photos clickty here. Some of my albums are friends only, so if we're buddies, you know what to do. ;)

2005-04-05T20:45:00.000+08:00

<3<3<3 happy one year and four months <3<3<3

2005-04-03T21:44:00.000+08:00

I have trouble expressing my emotions. I know it's wrong but I think I did this to myself. While I was growing up, I hid more of me and showed more of what they wanted to see. I was always afraid that others will think less of me when I show them how hurt I actually am, or how afraid I am about something. I have these notions that people will not look up to me when they see my weaknesses. It's hard to deal with these emotions when people expect so much from you.

Or maybe I'm expecting it from myself?

I've grown up to show others that I'm a strong woman. That's what I am, strong. I've made them see that they can come up to me whenever something troubles them. That's where I forgot all about myself. I can only open myself up to several people, but they have problems of their own and can't listen to my rantings all day. They get tired from it too, right Pau? Kat? Even my highschool classmate Lee agrees with me about this. We all have to vent sometime, even if others think enough is enough.

That's why I have my blog.

But lately, so many people I know read this and then that fear envelopes me again. What if they think less of me? I can't let that happen. How can I convince myself that other people have problems too?

Sometimes I get sooo pissed and I can't find the words to explain how I feel. I don't know how to take compliments very well either. I blush and say thanks, and in my head I want to hug them and say more things but the words stop at my throat. It sucks having to pretend to be so strong.

2005-04-03T21:06:00.000+08:00

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I have no idea what's going on right now. I have already composed two entries but my ring finger just keeps pressing on the backspace. *press press press* Nothing I write seems to be right. I can't write on how spectacular my day was since all I did was finish some work for mom and go to mass with my sister. Talk about sisterly-bonding, but we should have bit fat exes ( X ) on our foreheads for not paying attention to mass. WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW EFFIN' FUNNY FRIENDS WAS TODAY. It's actually knee-slapping funny.

For those who are avid "F.R.I.E.N.D.S." fans, I'm referring to the episode when Emma just came home and Rachel had the hardest time putting her to sleep.

WARNING! SPOILERS:

Gunther: So I guess Rachel had youR baby?

Ross: Yep, can you believe it?

Gunther: Nope! I still can't believe she slept with you in the first place.

Ross: Huh? Ooh (laughs) you mean like a... Huh?

Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing it's Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know you're pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.

Ross: Ah actually we don't. (Ross walks off)

Joey: Fine, fine okay. But I gotta say technically, I didn't even do anything wrong.

Ross: (turns back) What! (Angrily) You didn't do anything wrong?!

Joey: I said I didn't technically.

Ross: Okay let's put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.

Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I don't really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?

Ross: And I can even understand that you couldn't tell Rachel, but why couldn't you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didn't.

Joey: I know I should've. (Makes quote marks again.) "I'm sorry."

Ross: Not using it right, Joe.

(He brings his hands in closer to his face then does it again.)

Ross: I'm gonna go.

Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he can’t leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.

Ross: Give me the bag.

Joey: No, look, I don't know what else to do. I said I'm sorry!

Ross: Joey!

Joey: You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me.

Ross: I'm not gonna hit you.

Joey: Why not? You'll feel better! I'll feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.

Ross: No I don't.

Joey: A little bit.

Ross: No.

Joey: Little bit.

Ross: No!

Joey: (excited) A little bit more.

Ross: Give me the bag.

Joey: No, hit me

Ross: Give me the bag.

Joey: Hit me.

Ross: Joey, give me the bag.

Joey: Hit me!

Ross: Joe I'm not kidding…

Joey: (interrupting) Hit me, hit me.

Ross: No!

Joey: (shouts) Hit me! Hit me!

(Ross throws a punch, but Joey ducks and Ross punches the pole. Ross then screams from the pain and turns to Gunther, and Gunther has a huge smile on his face.)

Ross: You ducked!!

Joey: I’m sorry! It was a reflex!

Ross: Oh my god, this really hurts!!!

Joey: I couldn't help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesn’t and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)

Ross: What is the matter with you?!?

Joey: You were supposed to duck!!! Why didn't you duck?

Ross: Why don't we talk about this on the way to the hospital?

Joey: Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while we're there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) "Oops."

*grin*.. okay okay.. maybe it's funnier when you watch it. seriously, I miss F.R.I.E.N.D.S. so much.

moves onto a different topic...

Where are you going this summer vacation?

Howard Hughes

2005-03-30T05:37:00.000+08:00

Howard Hughes

For those who are familiar with this name, you might have seen The Aviator, or you have heard of the billionaire film maker who is eccentric. Yes, I have just seen The Aviator, and I suggest to those who have not seen it, go out this instant and get a copy for yourself. It is a long movie but I loved the cinematography and found his life most interesting.

According to this site, Mr. Hughes was a hypochondriac. Ingvard Wilhelmsen, MD, Ph.D states that Hypochondria is A person with hypochondria is preoccupied with physical health and body. The diagnosis is used when a person during at least 6 months believes, fears or is convinced that he has a serious disease despite medical reassurance.

It's a scary illness that drove Howard Hughes to insanity. Before he died, he drastically changed his appearance and secluded himself from the world. He snapped. So few people recognized him before he died that people were forced to fingerprint him to identify his body.

I was in such awe while I watched Leonardo DiCaprio's performance in the movie. (Not to mention hottie Jude Law)5 stars.

Do you have Hypochodria?
I got a 28. How about you?

This is for the future..This is for the future..This is for the future..This is for the future....

2005-03-29T00:08:00.000+08:00

bits & pieces of everything.

There are so many things I am thankful for, yet I can't help being sad about some things. I have been known for my drama modes and everytime I try to explain my emotions, I end up being mistaken for a dramatic biatch who is just trying to get some attention.

Don't get me wrong. I love attention. It's my personal high.

But to be rejected and stepped on before I can explain is a more hurtful experience than not being noticed. It's like I'm wearing my favorite shirt & smoking on the curb. Person A notices my cig, and not my <3 shirt when he is supposed to notice THE SHIRT..

But that's not what happened.

I'm not telling what happened. I'm tired of not being taken seriously when I rant. I have a right to rant anytime and anywhere I want. Just because I am a dramaqueen does not mean that my rants are a notch below the "of-importance" line.

I am important too!

me!!!
---------------- (Importance line.)

My needs and emotions are of some importance. Maybe I'm not that important to the guy selling tabloids on the street at 6am in the morning. But who cares!?

This is why I need chocolate. It's therapy. It's not proven by science but the females of the world have proven this centuries ago.

a new me.

2005-03-27T23:14:00.000+08:00

Well, this is what I was able to come up with. After hours of deciding what really suits me, I felt so stupid forgetting the one thing I've been craving for all vacation.. CHOCOLATE. so, viola! I'm going to add some more and do a little more face lifts in a while. My sister needs to edit (after hours of putting it off) and use this computer.

Mom asked me to make a comic strip. It has a really funny storyline. Will post here as soon as I finish. I'm meeting Paula with my mom and dad tomorrow to show them the Condo. Hope all goes well!

coming soon..

2005-03-23T09:05:00.000+08:00

new layout.
new entry.
new me.

[Under construction] [play here first while I update my blog. I'm just still in vacation mode. Give me until the end of Holy Week]

gossip kills.

2005-02-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

It tears you apart very slowly so you don't feel the pain.

Who knew that gossip could hurt people this much? It's an innocent game at first, then it gets addicting. Maybe too addicting. It's like taking a puff of smoke where the first puff seems like fun. Then the more you inhale the more serious it gets. Other people see it as a vice, a terrible thing to get addicted to, but you on the other hand seem to enjoy it and want even more. So you choose all kinds of cigarettes and try out different things. The more you explore, the harder it is to turn back. Then, before you can do anything about it, you find out a relative has died of lung cancer and you instantly drop the cigarette, you drop to your knees as well reflecting on what has just happened. It hits you. You need to stop smoking.

I smoke. I gossip. I'm living in an evil world where I let my self pleasures take over me. I need to stop this before I hurt other people. Lately my friends and I have jumped into a world of self-pleasure. We never meant this, otherwise we wouldn't be trying to fix this.

I'll stop the gossip first.. the smoking can wait a while..

crummier than cookie crumbs.

2005-02-12T20:44:00.000+08:00

This valentine's day thing is getting to me.. and I have a partner. So why is it crummy you ask? My partner is one who doesn't believe in planning for anything, not even for the one you love. Why does it hurt when it's not supposed to? I love him to bits. And I know he loves me too. But lately things aren't adding up to a smile. I don't like to get mad because it's just not in my nature. I'm not the type of person who will shout at you unless you did something on purpose.

Is my personality some kind of a curse? Leo's are hunters for love. Sure, romance, passion, intimacy.. they are the wonders of a relationship, but once they're missing, I feel empty and it bothers me alot.

I remember seeing a couple squeezing into a tight space on the jeepney, then the guy got up and let his s.o. seat comfortably while he stood up. I know it's so old fashioned, but there was alot of sweetness in that act that not only I noticed, but the whole "jeepney-gang" as well. Is that act of sweetness so rare now these days that it's given a more special meaning?

-----

oh I wish I could just zap some sweetness back into his system, even just for a day.

FULL VOLUME CONCERT

2005-02-09T20:18:00.000+08:00

click for more pictures

gmail invites

2005-02-03T20:54:00.000+08:00

I seriously dont know if there's a glitch in the system.. or it's for real... but my gmail account says I have 50 INVITES left!? say wha!?

anyway.. I have no idea what to do with 50.. and if it's for real, I'll be glad to give em out.. leave a comment with the title of your favorite book or movie, drink, food, make up, clothes line, hang out, song, gadget, website, photograph, game .. anything! anything that you think is worth sharing or checking out.. thankkssss... ;)

wanna change the world?

2005-02-02T19:39:00.000+08:00

one step at a time.
Dekay emailed this to me. I think it's a pretty good idea...

clean air now!
"WWF, the Philippine Daily Inquirer, the Department of
Energy (DOE) and the Renewable Energy Coalition
launched in November a Clean Energy campaign to push
for the passage of the Renewable Energy bill. The
bill supports the development of renewable energy such
as wind, biomass, hydro, solar and geothermal."

..."Increasing the share of renewable energy in the
country's power mix will reduce dependence on imported
fossil fuels such as coal and oil, and will result in
savings amounting to US$ 2.3 billion for a 10-year
period."

let's help out! we can vote for this thing through
text, pero P2.50 yun....and P2.50 isn't too much..
make a difference

------------------
okay, I've been really busy with school lately. My emotions have been going on a roller coaster ride again and my stress level is beyond what anyone can imagine. And the only reason I'm getting through this is because of my friends. We're all in this together and it's really helping, alot.

For a short but sweet update on me (if any of you are really interested..)
-I'm running for VP of our Student Council next school year. wish me luck! I need it badly..
-Thesis year is coming up and we're scared shit.
-Our fashion show is just around the corner.. please oh please let this be sucessful
-projects, projects, projects
-and since my south beach diet isn't working for me (I can't do it okay.. my schedule is really hard to work with..) I'm trying my best to slim down since i'll be the emcee (along with ryan) at our fashion show.. and damn, I need to look good!!

------------------
no pictures today.

no sweet words either.

my thoughts are tangled.

I miss love.

------------------

this is so cool.

2005-01-19T08:35:00.000+08:00

I'm done with my seatwork so my prof let me surf the net. soooo I'm amazed that I'm actually surfing from class. haha! To those who have done this before, this rocks. haha! It's like you're doing something that you're not supposed to, but you can because your prof let you.. err, catch my drift? shoutouts to rizza my sistah.. gau our usher, rash my seatmate at the far end of the room, cam who is on the other side, and I will enumerate my classmates because I can..

Jane, Rin, Jc, Myzyl, Den, Melanie, Pam, Kristel, Anj, Mon, Kat, Ryan, Pau, Sheena, Paul, Vanessa, Tren, Zaren, Diane,Jade, Tutay, Winkee and Mike!! Whew. I got dizzy looking back at everyone all the time.. err.. what else do I have to say?

pardon my useless post. it's just fun fun fun!

my weekend

2005-01-17T22:01:00.000+08:00

Saturday was a pretty busy day for me.. Friday alone was drop-dead-on-the-bed day. I met up with pau at school and we payed for our tuition. We met up with some org mates and she dealt with some things.. Then Vincent was kind enough to drop us off at Galleria since we had to meet ADMU people regarding this inter-school project. I'll discuss this in my next post. Anyway, one highlight of the day was Kai, Caw and I at the theatre watching the premiere of the Series of Unfortunate Events. (thanks Cat!) It was my birthday gift for her since she was waiting since forever for the movie to come out! I receommend you watch this movie when the regular showing starts in Feb. We also had fun with the posters after the movie ended.

We then took a bad to Country Waffles at Anapolis to celebrate Alessa's 21st birthday. We had noooo idea that it was going to be semi-formal! haha! It's a good thing we were dressed well enough to slip by the other people. It was fun, and I really miss my high school friends. Camwhoring completed our day. Mini Stop rocks. And I really had a good time.

Pau, Kai, Cawhitt, Misty.. thank you guys sooo much for making Saturday really great. It's those days that make you miss High School even more.

and I had my hair done today and took this shot I reaaally like.

to the point its not healthy anymore..

2005-01-11T16:13:00.000+08:00

I'm guilty of this. I always have. I've known for a very long time now that I enjoy loving and being loved. For me, it's the best feeling in the world! I've grown to love knowing that each day, someone cares for me and that feeling is mutual. But it's not that it's cracked up to be. I think I'm loving him to much. I believe this was triggered when I learned that I am really leaving for Canada come March'06. I don't think I can handle this situation without his assurance that we'll hold onto everything we can. He doesn't want us to expect anything to save ourselves from the agonoy that is to come. Is it right to assume the worst and hope for the best, when I want to do my best to make it happen? I just don't think I can sit around and wait for come what may. I know I'll be gone for a long time (maybe 4 years) But I promised myself that I'm old enough to make my own decisions and I want to come home. I am just doing this to please my parents so they can't say anything against me. I'm just following my Mom's will. It sucks, I know. But I'm in no postition to back out.

I'm just not sure what to do anymore. Crying myself to sleep has been crossed out seeing it's not as effective as I thought it would be. Maybe I should just stop thinking altogether. That would numb the pain.

It's hard to hold onto something when there's nothing to hold onto.

He doesn't want any of us to get hurt.. and I understand that completely. I know he loves me. But I'm just not sure if it's enough to wait the 4 years. I'm going to visit. I'm going to earn money and make sure I visit. But then, who knows what will happen? I just don't think I'd want to spend the rest of my days here drifting apart so we'll have an easier time. I just don't think and feel it's right.

I just needed to let this out...

happy birthday cat!!!

2005-01-04T01:48:00.000+08:00

NOOOOOOOO!!!!

2005-01-02T17:30:00.000+08:00

I'm finally doing this.

2005-01-01T23:10:00.000+08:00

The one I did last night disappeared.. *stupid exlorer.* Anyway, I'm making this equally long and I'd better finish better the first day of the year ends. Yes, this is my First Day of the Year Obligatory Post.

----------------

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?

I'd have to say the most memorable ones are.. falling in love with photography, organizing college events, going away with friends for more than 2 days with my parents approval even if it's not school-related, losing my phone (*sniff*)...

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I always start the year with resolutions, then I forget about then a few months later.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My cousin Manang Anna did. :)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully not. I don't really know how to react to these things.

5. What countries did you visit?
None this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
More cash. More time. More sleep. More peace.

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
As cheesy as it may seem to you guys, Feb. 14, 2004 will forever be remembered. Who can forget a day that your boyfriend cooks for you complete with a candle-lit ambiance..

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Thanks to the Student Council, my inner self is pleased. And, the parade. mermaid anyone? :)

9. What was your biggest failure?
PROCRASTINATION

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
They still havn't found the cure for the common cold.. WHICH I GET EVERY MORNING.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Christmas gift for Dino.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
hmmm...

13. Whose behaviour appalled you and made you depressed?
This would have to be mine..

14. Where did most of your money go?
Plates (schoolwork), food, materials..

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The Incubus Concert. *grin*

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
Incubus crow left of the murder, Rivermaya, Bamboo, Session Road, Parokya ni Edgar Inuman Sessions..

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? happ-ey
ii. thinner or fatter? CHUBBY as always
iii. richer or poorer? Poo.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Relax..

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Procrastinate.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
We already did. It was cool. There were less of us tho. :(

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
Still am. :)

23. How many one-night stands?
Zilch.

24. What was your favourite TV program?
Will & Grace, Nip/tuck, Charmed, CSI, Discovey, Animal Planet, Disney..

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Naaaaah..

26. What was the best book you read?
Da Vinci Code (movie is comin' out soon..), HP5, Chronicles or narnia, Teen Angst..

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
No matter how hard I try, I am not musically inclined.

28. What did you want and get?
Cash.. Love. :)

29. What did you want and not get?
Some million dollars..

30. Favorite film of this year?
50 First dates, Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind..

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Didn't do nothin. Turned 20. *blech*

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Getting some million dollars

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Jeans, tee, dirty worn out chucks..

34. What kept you sane?
Dino. Friends. Love.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Nona.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Elections. *shudder*

37. Who did you miss?
Cham. Beans. Reina. Cawhitt. Nades. Maan. Misty. .. *must I name everyone? this just makes me sadder.*

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Karla is cool. :)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
Friendship is important. What's more important is accepting yourself. And procrastinating makes everything worse for everyone!

40. Will you miss 2004
Yup, but we must move on. This is another begininng..

----------------

Probably my favorite photographs I've taken this year:

----------------

My best discoveries this year:
1. My Livejournal, My Blog, My Multiply account..

2. The Nedboarders (Ned, ChairmanSquip, Che, Simone., LoserDude_beatSerena, Serena, Lauren, Emo, ReaganChan, spool, Steph, Brian.. all you guys. :)

3. Make-up isn't really bad.

4. Pink rocks.

----------------

Okay, I'm ready to welcome the New Year, now.

WELCOME 2005

cybershot moments

2004-12-27T22:12:00.000+08:00

I still can't get over the gift my parents gave to my sister and me..

It's like a dream come true!! I guess losing my phone and shopping money wasn't so bad.. At least I have a new digicam to play with. :) (yeah, I lost my camera-phone and shopping money at greenhills last tuesday.. right before Christmas. *sigh*)

*cam-whore mode*

kai and I

sibling love

Makes you want to be a kid again..

Spot the camwhore

Cathy thank you!!

Garcias

Nerys

it's not the best but..

2004-12-24T15:31:00.000+08:00

Just when i tried not to be a scrooge

2004-12-22T19:02:00.000+08:00

I went shopping at Greenhills with my mom. I woke up uber early just to beat the car and people-traffic. I planned to buy the stuff for Dino's family there, and the rest at Shangri-la. So, there I was, finishing half of my Christmas list, saving the most important people for last (mom, dad, ate, bro, boyfriend and kris kringles).

I called mom to ask where we should meet. I walked to our meeting place and waited. I looked for my money and phone.

I couldn't find my Cellphone and 5K

It was stolen. My Christmas money, my cellphone, my savings.. all gone. I wanted to cry right then and there. But I didn't. I retraced my steps and asked around, even though I was sure the chances were slim. When I finally realized that there was no more hope, I asked some nice looking ladies if they could text my mom for me.

Thank goodness mom and I met up. She didn't scold me or anything. She hugged me and asked me what happened. She even gave me a little more money so I could finish my shopping. I don't have enough money for her and dad. I need to think of a gift for them. (Ideas anyone??)

I didn't really cry. I didn't really whine about it. I accepted the fact that shit happens and we can't do anything about it anymore but learn from our own little experiences.

So no more camera phone.. no more savings.. less christmas gifts.. but I learned that mom will be there for me always..

And I still got to get Dino a gift he'd like. So, I'm happy.

Bah-humbug

2004-12-21T17:05:00.000+08:00

My life is rated R.
What is your life rated?

I've done the christmas layout.. I've done the wishlist.. I've seen the parols and christmas lights.. I'm doing the family Kris Kringle.. I've done the Christmas parties but I still don't feel the Christmas spirit..

I need to go shopping tomorrow. :\

PICTURES OVERLOAD

2004-12-17T11:42:00.000+08:00

Finally, I'm on my official break. After a long hectic week of ditching class to support the paskuhan and other projects, I can finally say I've had 9 hours of sleep. It really felt relaxing, compared to the usual 2-3 hours this past week.

PARTY, PASKUHAN AT PANALO!

MONDAY
My blockmates and I stayed up the night before doing a 5-way conversation (buche, pau, kat, diane and moi) via phone and chatted on YM. Ang gulo! Haha! Anyway, we all agreed that we'd pitch in for the Paskuhan so we won't have to face our assignments at the same time. *grin* Then Monday comes, and after talking with my fellow SC-mates, we had a go signal for our class. But then, we find out that they really put a limit on the number of students parading, so we had to back out again. We were planning to practice the shields by then but the paint wasn't easy to paint with.

so here's robby and nolan when we were putting up the Christmas tree

TUESDAY
We weren't so into panic mode yet. I was just worried that my first ever project will end in a flop. I organized an underground party (meaning no administration personnel should find out about it) but since it was given to me just 2 weeks before the target date, I had a feeling it wouldn't be such a great turnout. :|

That night, we stayed over at Robby's house to paint all 48 costumes of the Dance Troupe, Pakakak people, Bamboo people, and Flag people for the big event. I'm so glad the costumes turned out great!

WEDNESDAY
Okay, so by then we were really in panic mode and I got so tense when the night drew nearer. The sheilds were 90% done and we needed to start practicing ASAP.

progress and practice

Compared to Nolan

I check my watch and it's already 7:oopm! I start getting ready and pray with all my might that this event will turn out better than we already expect. By this time, we were expecting the worst, and hoping for the better..

we got so worried, we reduced the price to P60

The bands we great! We also had artbeat to start the show. Mga pasaway ang SC kse 6 lang ang limit ng bands.. pero we went ahead and had 8! The bands I really recommend are join the club, circuz crone, love story, d.t.s. and KAMIKAZEE. Jay from Kamikazee is drop-dead HILARIOUS. See how their performance went.

Now you HAVE to see them LIVE! They're performing again on Monday at Mayric's along with Parokya and Moonstar88 I think..

Anyway, our party ended around 2 so we left and I had our poster signed by Kamikazee. They're pretty cool. :)

We didn't get that much sleep because Thursday would be the Paskuhan day.

Dance Troupe practicing and Gintong Susi Detailing

Nolan Ngarag and Stessed out!

costumes galore

During the parade

So that night, they announced the winners.. and
CFAD WON!
for the third time in a row!

My blockmates

Bati na kami! We had a little tampuhan because we were both tired, busy and I know she missed me so much that's why...

But wait.. there's more!

We were about to go home when we decided to check out the Guest Band staying in one of our classrooms. Fortunately, we were able to talk the people guarding the room to let us in and meet.. RIVERMAYA.

grabe. isa lang ngiti ko at ang panget pa! haha!

So I guess my week ended pretty well. I'm going to tagaytay tomorrow for three days with my Dino's friends. :) It's kat's birthday tomorrow tho. :( oh well. Oh, and I have to say thank you to paula for some pictures.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT!!!!

2004-12-12T11:03:00.000+08:00

I wish I was a different ethnicity (uhmm.. maybe just a little more spanish looking. ooh lala!)
I have an eating disorder (okay, I'm chubby. There.)
I'm short. (I wish I were taller)
I'm tall.
I think I'm really attractive
I prefer winter over summer.
I'm a geek.
I'm a shopaholic.
I'm reasonably intelligent. = I'm not a dumbass.
I'm attracted to girls.
I'm attracted to boys.
I like British accents. (I think it's funny in a nice way)
I drink socially.
I drink regularly.
I get drunk easily. (That's why I should drink sloooowly)
I do drugs.
I will never date a bad kisser
I've lied to avoid kissing them again.
I brush my hair at least 50 times a night.
I'm religious.
I'm not religious but have morals.
I lie frequently.
I'm impulsive. (and compulsive)
I'm hardworking.
I liked "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind". (I LOOOOOVED IT)
"She's All That" is one of my favorite movies.
I'm good at History.
I speak more than two languages.
I enjoy taking pictures. (Again, I love it.)
I like spending money on myself. = guilt
I like spending money on others.
I have a regular income.
I earn money on a job-by-job basis. (summer jobs)
I pay my own bills.
I rely on my parents for money.
I can cook.
I enjoy cleaning.
Tidyness is a must in my life.
I like clutter.
My idea of good music is Britney Spears.
I have heard of Blonde Redhead.
I enjoy Blonde Redhead.
I'm fashion-conscious.
I have good taste.
People tell me I have good taste.
I excel academically. (sometimes)
I'm told I have yet to fulfill my potential.
I'm good at sports.
I'm good at certain sports.
I couldn't do sports to save my life.
I'm creative. (I have to try to be. It's my course!)
I'm artistically inclined.
I wanna be an artist when i grow up.
I wanna be an engineer when I grow up.
I eat when I'm upset.
I cannot adapt to change.
I'm interested in politics.
I have shoplifted.
I download MP3s.
I've done underage drinking. (HAHA)
I've gone underage clubbing.
I can dance reasonably well.
I can dance extremely well.
I dance like a cardboard gorilla. (ooh lala!)
I can sing.
I sing like someone stepped on my foot.
I can swim.
I enjoy surveys.
I enjoy surveys when I'm bored.
I keep a journal. (no duh?)
My teachers don't like me.
I enjoy controversy.
I can be a bitch/bastard. (so don't push me)
I have a thing for bad boys/girls.
I have tattoos.
I've been in a nudist colony.
I'm not sure if I want to have children.
I'm not sure if I'll get married.
I know who I will marry.
I'm interesting.
I'm a good liar.
People enjoy talking to me. (I'm narcissistic that way)
I annoy people from time to time.
I'm a born leader. (oooh. hahaha)
I'm a born leader but shouldn't lead.
I've snuck out of the house.
I enjoy felching.
I have a foot fetish.
I have a shoe fetish.
I watch "Sex and the City".
I don't think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty.
I wanna be J.Lo.
I cut myself.
I've cut myself.
I hate people who pretend to be suicidal.
I hate popular people.
I think cheerleading is a sport.
I'm (try to be) photogenic.
I live in Chucks.
I think graffiti is art.
I have dated a criminal.
I have been cheated on.
I have cheated on someone.
I have a temper.
I like playgrounds.
I dance in the rain.
I'm obsessed with Shakespeare.
I have tanlines.
My favourite color is pink.
My favourite color is black.
I would classify myself as emo. = emotional? haha if so, then yes.
I'm musically inclined.
I like listening to music.
I like music-blasting cars.
Thongs are comfortable.
I like flip-flops.
I know what monogamy is...
...and I believe in it.
I wanna be a social worker when I grow up.
I have sibling/s.
My sibling/s annoy me.
I think "South Park" is funny.
I believe in LOVE.

paint stained emotions

2004-12-08T13:50:00.000+08:00

I have become the person I didn't want to become. Yet, everything seems fine.

BUSH GOT ARRESTED.. IN CANADA

2004-12-06T23:18:00.000+08:00

Bizzare ain't it? If you want to see it for yourself, just fly here. I got this from aYa.

Bush arrested in Canada for war crimes

Bush received a bruise on his face during the arrest, which some observers have noted resembles a Canadian maple leaf.

I'm not sure it's true true since it's not on TV. Maybe they want to keep it a hush-hush.. and it is the real CNN site.. hmmm..

What do you think? I think it rocks.

Some quotes from the article:

Under Canadian law, even a non-citizen can be charged for crimes committed outside of Canada once that individual enters the country.
--I think that's cool. They got to arrest the US President! How dumb can he get!!

Using the same expletive from a heated exchange earlier this year, Vice President Dick Cheney was overheard on the Senate floor with an even stronger response. "These charges are f****** outrageous."
--HAHAHA!

Another protester justified Bush's arrest with a hypothetical analogy. "Let's say I heard that my ex-convict neighbor is stockpiling weapons in his apartment. I call the police but they don't act swiftly enough. So, in order to protect my family from this threat, I take matters into my own hand and break into my neighbor's home while torturing and killing members of his family. Of course, I do not find any weapons."
--That is too true.

2004-12-06T01:24:00.000+08:00

check out what happened to us saturday night

DISCLAIMER: read at own risk

2004-12-05T01:47:00.000+08:00

[EDIT]

MY CHRISTMAS DREAM LIST

*the unbelievably beautiful iBook g4 or PowerBook g4 or maybe just the New Power Mac g5

*the s700i

*a 256mb flash drive

*People R People tops, levi's jeans, kamiseta skirt & tops, gap/old navy tees..

*Be more chill by Ned Vizzini

*C h u c k s

chucks with flames

what color chucks are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

*Black socks for school (maybe new shoes to go with it)

*oil paint and brushes

*a digital SLR camera

*cash ;)

*earrings (hoop,dangling, studs), bracelets and necklaces

*SIMS 2

*national bookstore gift certificate

*Body Shop foot scrub set, hand and foot extravaganza, scrubs and masks

*Benetton slippers

*Globe load

*PEACE ON EARTH *bow* [/EDIT]

♥

♥♥

♥♥♥

MY LAYOUT DOES NOT SUIT MY EMOTIONS

2004-12-03T01:11:00.000+08:00

I never thought it was possible to cry while watching cartoons.. But I did.

And I just feel so pathetic for doing so. No, it wasn't some sappy cartoon of lovers finding their way to each others hearts.. Actually it had no relation to love whatsoever, yet I cried my eyes out for God knows why.

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly.
~Sam Slick

I never thought it was possible to finish a box of tissue in one sitting.. And I did.

No, I wasn't watching the news although I'm terribly terrified of what this storm can do to our little country. I feel ~~bad~~ horrible for not crying for the people who have died and for those who risked their lives trying to save others, or for those who lost all they had, and nothing was spared. I'm selfish. I was thinking about myself. I'm partly unselfish because I was worried about someone else.

I don't think I have to make meticulous description of who I'm referring to. Love bites. And it bites hard.

I cried because I love him and I was scared to death what could have been going on when I couldn't contact him. He was on the road folks, and I assume you can grasp the images running though my wild imagination. Hard rain, strong winds, a car on the road and no means of communication. Put them all together and what do you get?

I told myself I'd go to sleep and wake up tomorrow feeling better. I'm not mad at him. But I have to take the blame out on somebody don't I? So, I'm mad at myself for being so weak. I'm a strong woman, and I've always believed that.. and yet he is the only person who could make me feel weak. And I take it that's a good sign because if I continue being the Leo that I am without taking consideration what others must be feeling, I would have lost so many friends by now.

I am a proud woman, and not many people can understand that. So when I ask (or demand) someone not to do something, and my request is not met.. I lose control.

I am a lioness, hear me roar! *whimper* Yes beans, I know I need some alcohol and chocolate.. I already had the chocolate.. care to go out drinkin sometime?

something tells me my new layout doesn't match my mood.

on a rainy day

2004-12-02T18:36:00.000+08:00

well, it looks like my layout isnt perfect. I'm thinking of totally changing it. What really sucks is that it looked different when I was veiwing it in blogger and when I finally saved everything. *sigh* pardon the mistakes. I'm changing this tomorrow. I'm not satisfied. grr..

2004-11-30T23:25:00.000+08:00

I think I'll have a christmas-y layout for the season..hmm..

NO INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-11-30T22:59:00.000+08:00

I'm just over at my couzins house (20 steps from our doorstep) using their pc since our internet has been down for three straight days! Anyway, life's been kind in other ways.. He spared our area from the constant downpour yesterday, meaning no flash floods or disasters, unlike some of my blockmates.. they weren't as lucky. *pout* I hope their Christmas turns out better for them. *sigh*

Everyone has been putting up their Christmas Wish List but I really haven't thought about it yet, so for those who want to get me something, I will post something after my 1st anniversary with Dino, because for now, that's what I'm focused on. HAHA.

I'm still not sure on what to get him.. suggestions?

ARGH

2004-11-29T03:17:00.000+08:00

I can't find my bluetooth dongle!! *rants*

I want to upload my pictures already! argh. anyway, today was Ally's 2nd birthday party at Mickey dee's, Greenhills. I brought Anton along and he had fun, especially after all the goodies he got. *grin*

After taking Anton home, Dino and I and his friends went to Mara's house to hang out until we decided where else to hang out after.. So around 7 we arrived at Shangri-la... and played Magic until 2am. Hahaha! It was fun really.. I'm no expert but all the stories and jokes and food.. aah.. :) Twas great. :) Dino didn't want me to get in trouble so he took me home right away. And he stayed here for a while, just talked a little more..

It makes me sad knowing I have to leave him for a while when I stay over at Canada for a few years.. Believe me, I don't really want to go but sometimes you have no power over things (and believe me, I love having power) and you just have to accept the fact that you lost the battle. What I have to do now is make the most out of it and maybe win my own battle there. I really love Dino, and for those who think it's mushy or sickening to declare your love for someone, I don't give a damn really. We're celebrating our one year anniversary next sunday December 5 and... Well, I'm really excited. :)

So much has been happening at school lately, and I really havn't posted much about it. So, maybe it's not that important..

As for now, it's time to wash up and get ready to sleep. Dino and I are starting on the ever so popular South Beach Diet on December 1, so wish us luck!

2004-11-24T07:36:00.000+08:00

I'ts funny how there are so many visitors everyday, but they're all shy to drop a line or leave a message..
don't be shy! :)

matchbox 20 - when you're gone

2004-11-22T22:59:00.000+08:00

i think i've already lost you
i think you're already gone
i think i'm finally scared now
you think i'm weak
i think you're wrong

i think you're already leaving
feels like your hand is on the door
i thought this place was an empire
now i've realised i can't be sure

and i think you're so mean
i think we should try
i think i could need this in my life
and i think i'm scared
i think too much
i know its wrong its a problem i'm dealing

if you're gone
maybe its time to come home
there's an awful lot of breathing room
but i can hardly move
if you're gone
baby you need to come home
there's a little bit of something me
in everything in you

i bet you're hard to get over
i bet the moon just won't shine
i bet my hands i can stay here
i bet you need more than you mind

and i think you're so mean
i think we should try
i think i could need this in my life
and i think i'm just scared
that i know too much
i can't relate and thats a problem i'm feeling

if you're gone
maybe its time to come home
there's an awful lot of breathing room
but i can hardly move
if you're gone
baby you need to come home
there's a little bit of something me
in everything in you

i think you're so mean
i think we should try
i think i could need
this in my life
and i think i'm scared
do i talk too much?
i know its wrong its a problem i'm dealing

if you're gone
then maybe its time to come home
there's an awful lot of breathing room
but i can hardly move
if you're gone
hell baby you need to come home
there's a little bit of something me
in everything in you

something me... everything in...
something me... in you

I've been so busy lately. I want to post happy posts. I want to brag about how we won our college parade (and how I was dressed up as the mermaid) and won P10,000 as a class. I want to post the pictures and share the fun moments and the pocket draining moments as well. I want to rant how the rain has been raining everyday except before, during the after the parade. I want to share how we've been excused from classes and how the professors have enjoyed the little break as well. I want to be happy. I really want to, but my mood has swung. I'm not feeling well again and I don't think I can explain what's the matter with me because I can't understand myself. I feel like I'm so needy, but why can't I whine for a while? I have so much to do, yet here I am just effin' whining about how terrible I feel. Why does this have to happen anyway?

Why do we have to feel the need for some chocolate, a warm bubble bath and just curl up in bed with the covers over our heads and leave a -do-not-disturb- sign over our heads.

I feel like the rollercoaster-ride has broken-down in the middle of a heart pumping loop, and I'm stuck.

*plop*

Pump my heart and make me alive again. I beg you. Why does it have to be this way anyway? I just want to

scream

and let it all out. I want to act crazy. I'm twenty and I don't have my life sorted out and it scares me to hell and back. I dont think what I'm doing is just enough. And have I mentioned I'm effin' scared about what lies ahead of me?

I'm such a Drama Queen!

I JUST HAVE TO SHARE

2004-11-12T20:24:00.000+08:00

In connection with my previous post, I still am very much a geek, and what I'm about to tell you will prove it. :) I had a great day today. Despite my empty stomach and insomnia attack last night, and the boring subjects today, one thing actually lifted my spirits.. today, i was voted VP of our Student Council for CFAD I'm not bragging though.. I'm just shocked, scared, happy, and overwhelmed.. did I mention scared? so there. I guess it's just something else to let my parents be happy about since I didn't reach the Deans List last semester..

That gave me alot to think about for this semester. Will my position push me to do better this year? What about my time with my friends? What about my time for myself? What new things will I have to get used to? Will I fall behind in class? I HAVE NO IDEA.

Maybe.. just MAYBE things will work out for me. I'm hoping and praying that this will keep me busy, just not too busy, but busy enough to feel accomplished. :)

The Girls

im such a G E E K !

2004-11-12T01:26:00.000+08:00

I just finished adding more to my blog.

Obviously, I have so much time right now and all i can think of is my blog. Haha! Check the bar on the left and you will see I've added pictures!! PICTURES GALORE! and Ned Vizzini left me a comment. *rave rave rave* hahaha! I know. I admit I'm a geek. But it's fun being a geek. Don't deny that deep down inside every person is a geek just waiting to be free, even for an hour.

Being a geek isn't bad. You see happiness in small things. Therefore, instant happiness. But don't get me wrong, when my geeky-ness disappears, it's time for a BF (watch WHITE CHICKS) otherwise known as a bitch fit..

I miss Dino.

Lately, nothing exciting has been happening at school. CFAD (my college) week is coming up, so more activities lined up. Not bad, not bad. But then the plates (requirements) will be piling up as well. Hmm...

I'm planning to add another book to my not-so-boastful-collection, if i can only find it! If anyone sees Be More Chill, please LET ME KNOW.

and for other news..

SQUiP?

google it

im sooo babaw.

2004-11-07T23:11:00.001+08:00

I found this chatboard, so if we're online at the same time and we're not satisfied with the tag-board.. ta-da! An online private chatroom. Haha!

My schedule.

Take note of the long hours and crappy short breaks in between. *argh*

I had dinner at Kooka-bar (sp?) at Greenhills with Dino and his sibs. As usual, they paid for everything. Kakahiya nga eh.. but i still had so much fun!

**rant: My mom is so insensitive. She doesn't really want me having dinners with Dino and his family because according to her, we're getting too used to the fact that we're treating each other like family. my gawd. I'd be thrilled if my daughters boyfriends family took care of her like they take care of me. She just doesn't get it. She keeps saying things like, "He's just your first boyfriend", "Don't treat each other like family".. And she doesn't get the fact that it hurts my feelings. So what if he's my first boyfriend? Do I have to wait for my sixth boyfriend just to say it's safe to call it love? Ano, maglolokohan lang kami? She's keeping me too close to her and I don't think she wants me to move out, EVER. I honestly feel like she's going to keep me under her roof until im 30. AYOKO. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful and everything but I'm growing up too. I'm not 10 anymore where I can't make my own decisions without asking her. I can choose who I want to love. She doesn't have to make comments about it. She has nothing against Dino, I just get the feeling that she thinks I'm going to have many more boyfriends after him. I don't really care what she thinks right now. Argh. I wanna get outta here already. I wanna live on my own. I so want to graduate and have my own job and family already. I'm turning 21 fer crying out loud! I'm not going to get any younger.

Yes, this has something to do with Canada, because I feel that its holding me back of my dreams. I didn't plan on migrating and waiting to become another citizen. I'm happy being Filipino. God knows I'm going to come back here.. so why leave anyway?

Oh, Dino.. if you're reading this, don't worry. Like I said, no one in my family has anything against you. My mom's just too clingy to me. She's afraid you're going to take me away from her. Boo. It's not fair huh? oooh, alis ulit tayo. Try natin ung Dencio's sa Ghills! :)

a little twitch here and there

2004-11-07T17:03:00.000+08:00

I just finished editing my layout.. no nothing big. i just added a little here and there. i dont want to change it just yet. its still my mood..

Recommended books!!

2004-11-03T22:51:00.001+08:00

Teen Angst? Naaah... by Ned Vizzini
It's not exactly full of obscene language and unruly plots. It's more of a quasi-autobiography that takes you back to the same situation you were in several years back. I finished the book today. It's price-friendly too!

Boy meets girl by Meg Cabot
(author of princess diaries and more young adult books, #1 New York Times Bestselling Author) Sappy it is not. It's witty, unique and funn-ee. She's not exactly my age but the genre we can totally relate to. It's not as low-priced as Teen Angst? Naaah... but it's worth it. I'm almost done with it today too!

What have you been reading lately?

oh yeaaaah.. I ditched my classes today. I didn't feel like going to my first day of classes this semester. It's always the same, the professors don't show up and neither do the students. It's this understanding that we've all built throughout the years. Convenient at times. But I have to show up tomorrow. A professor already informed us of the lecture due tomorrow. A LECTURE!? RIGHT AFTER BREAK?! WHO IS HE KIDDING!?

Why did the break end so soon?

2004-11-03T19:48:00.000+08:00

Who is going to win? Bush or Kerry?
Who do you want to win?

Fire is Evil

2004-11-02T09:41:00.000+08:00

My relatives in Canada lost their home today. As of 7pm here, their house was completely burned down and they were in their robes and sleeping gowns watching their hard-works pay vanish before their eyes. It started from another row of houses, meaning other people lost their homes as well. Jed, the youngest, somehow burned his ear a bit but he's okay now. Mik, the eldest boy took charge and brought his parents out safely. My Tita and Tito (aunt and uncle) woke up their family in time to bring them out to safety.
And everything happened so fast, they weren't able to save anything except themselves. I'm just glad their safe and well, but I still can't stop feeling their pain. They lost everything.

Ate Leigh and Ate Kiss live in their own home and I'm glad their okay too. I thought of my Ate Leigh right away because I know her fear of fires.

It's times like this where you start thinking what if you were in the same situation? What if you lost everything as well? I'd cry if I lost this pc, what more the whole house? The passports, the Visas, the documents proving you were born into this world and you're not some alien walking around. The photographs and the memories that you've held onto since grade 5.

I don't want to feel lucky because my relatives are homeless. They didn't have to go through all this pain just to make me realize what I have. It's not fair.

It's a little late but i was out the whole day so..

2004-11-01T18:07:00.000+08:00

updates coming soon

Masaya

2004-10-29T17:52:00.000+08:00

This is my favorite song right now. It's on Play-Repeat. Yeah, I wasn't really a pinoy music fan until recently (college, that is). It just seems that the Pinoy Music Industry is getting better, with more and greater talents that are being recognized. (oh god heavens no, I'm not talking about show-biz talents like luv idol and shit like that. And I'm not talking about how many new entertainment hosts they have daily that, I'm sorry, try to speak english but can't.
What's wrong with speaking tagalog kung mas komportable sila?

Back to my point,Have you noticed even radio stations and MTV Asia play Pinoy music more frequently now? Just an observation.. Some, not all, but some Filipinos now have found the true sense of music and art. I feel proud to know that there are talents here being recognized.
All the more I don't want to leave. *puts on sad face*

Ako'y malungkot nanaman
Amoy chico na ako
Ilang tagay na hindi pa rin tulog
Tanong ko lang sa langit
Kung bakit pumangit

Nung dating masaya
Ngayo'y panay problemang
bumabalot sa buto
Bakit ganito

Ang pag-ibig
Ganyan talaga
Pagbago pa ang pag-ibig
Ganyan talaga
Masaya

Pagkagising ko
Nakita ko si juan
Na syang adik
sa aming lugar

Parang droga daw ang bisa
Na ginagamit niya kanina
Sa una lang daw
Masarap

Ang pag-ibig
Ganyan talaga
Pagbago pa ang pag-ibig
Ganyan talaga
Masaya
Ang pag-ibig
Ganyan talaga
Pagbago pa ang pag-ibig
Ganyan talaga
Masaya

Bamboo's cool. Dino has their CD and I love listening to them. Not much songs on their album, but it's still really good.

Another amazing Filipino fact is that the swords from LOTR and Braveheart were.. get this.. made in the Philippines. And one sword costs the average of P21,000.oo. Read the article for yourself.

On another happenin' note, we had a party last night and i guess paula's post says it all. Hehe. Oh, and I helped Julius put together his blog. It's not done yet if you notice.

Dino, take me out! *grin*

Ms. Earth

2004-10-25T01:10:00.000+08:00

I CAN'T BELIEVE MS. PHILIPPINES ANSWERED THAT WAY! I mean.. They showed footage of models strutting in fur coats.. and her answer.. her answer was about fashion and that it was good that we keep up with fashion!? okay okay.. she mentioned that we should take care of the Earth, but nooooo.. no mention of poor animals who gave up their lives for humans to wear their fur.

Talk about beauty with no brains!

Your answer was supposed to be "NO animal killings just so we can wear our fur coats.." NOT keeping up with fashion. ugh.

what's worse is the audience clapped at her answer. Either they didn't understand her or they totally believe the same thing. *roll eyes*